Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
In other news, I just burned my penis
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
