I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
