It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
