The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
