Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
