Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
