His pubic hair was longer than his dick
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I deserve this hangover.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
