Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
