She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
