they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
