I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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