I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
