I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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