Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
