so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
