Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize