Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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