oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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