rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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