The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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