I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
