You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
