I got chris browned last night
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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