You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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