it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
