Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
