it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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