the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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