dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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