my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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