Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
