Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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