What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
