Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
