Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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