You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
farters have to be the big spoon...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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