I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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