as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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