I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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