I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
home. puking in laundry basket.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
