I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
