Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
ugly people sure do ruin things
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
