Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
