At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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