her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Ladies don't puke and tell
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
