it was like his penis was on wheels.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
