Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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