thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
