So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
