are you so shy because you have an std?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
