Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Randomize
