He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She needs sedatives and a leash
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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