Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
