Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
