Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
